When is Sword of Jade coming out?

This article (or part thereof) is obsolete. It may have made sense in the past, but it does not make sense now. It is kept here only for historic curiosity and/or posterity.

Sword of Jade was actually released in the Summer of '05. However, this page will be maintained for humor's sake.

So, when is it coming out??

Sword of Jade: Parallel Dreams has no confirmed or theoretical release date. Unless you see a date posted by FyreWulff or Charbile on Castle Paradox, OHR Infinity, each respective author's LJ, or CNN.com, the release date will be "it's done when it's done".

I heard from somebody who is the uncle brother sister cousin employee dog's trainer for RPGCreations that Sword of Jade has "x" date

Nobody but FyreWulff and Charbile and Santa Clause (and possibly the FBI) has any idea when the game will be released. Ignore any mentions, posts, or carrier-pigeon messages describing any date of release.

If I eat a hat or other personal article of clothing, will Sword of Jade be released?

It has come to the attention of RPGCreations that some people have advocated the consumption of clothing, especially hats, to bring forth the release of the game, as described in Figure 1:

rpgcreations.com/images/jademath.png

FyreWulff and Charbile do not advocate this activity, as it will have no bearing on the game's status or development. The nutritional benefit of such an act is also undetermined.

Can I be a beta tester?

Sorry, but RPGCreations is not accepting requests for beta testing of the game. For one, we despise the use of archiac terms like "alpha", "beta", and "No really, this boat is watertight". Sword of Jade is currently in "Make sure it works" testing, which will be followed by "Preparation for release to tester people" testing, then "Testing by the testers for the testing people" testing, and finally, release.

Who is a tester? X person told me they are a tester!

Although testers will be contacted in private, if they wish to test their sanity by revealing the testy nature of their testing, they can do so. Their names will be added here once they do so (although not even they know they are testers yet!)

Quit dodging the question! WHEN IS THE GAME COMING OUT!?!? AND HOW CAN I GET MY CAPS LOCK KEY UNSTUCKED?

Sword of Jade will release sometime after you get done reading this sentence. Or how about this next one? Oh, and apply a lot of peanut butter and gum to get the shiftiest of shift locked unshifted.

I bet you're waiting to release Sword of Jade on the court date for the murder of James Paige, so that people will be too busy playing the game to convict FyreWulff of pushing him into the marshmellow roasting fire!

We do not comment on pending litigation. James Paige totally got too close to the fire. I swear.