Is James Really Dead?
... *sob* Yes, it's true. I told him not to hold it so close to the fire, but he wouldn't listen. he kept saying "I want it really well-done" and before long, fwoosh! It caught on fire *sob* and I told him to blow it out, or it would get burnt all to a crisp, and he said "no, just the outside. the inside will get all gooey and yummy" *sob* and then it fell off the stick and landed on his shoe and caught his pants on fire, and I said "James! Your pants are on fire!" and I tried to stomp out the flames but he stopped me, saying "Hey! don't do that! You are messing up my marshmallow". *sob* and before long he was all in flames-- I tried to put out the fire with the garden hose, but he ran away from me, shouting "No! No! My marshmallow isn't done yet! If you get it wet it will be ruined!"... by the time the paramedics arrived, he was already dead *sob*. We burried him with the remains of the marshmallow in his coffin with him. The enscription on his tombstone reads "Okay, NOW the marshmallow is done"
Bob the Hamster